So my tumor shrunk

"How did your tumor shrink? What did you do?"

I’ve been getting those questions lately and here is my answer:

What did I do to make it shrink? NOTHING.

Maybe it’s because I’m drinking Reliv Now with LunaRich.

Maybe because of the the turmeric and black pepper capsule that I’m taking.

I don’t know. I really don’t. It really just happened. Last September 11, it was still big and painful and then TAAA-DAAA and then 6 days after, TAAA-DAAA again!!

But this I’m very very very sure of:
GOD made this happen!

No, I'm not irritated because people keep answering these questions. Actually, I'm really so amazed and I want to share it to everyone that's why I am posting it.

____________________

Or maybe, it’s because I am exercising my legs and the tumor lose its weight. Haha. Just kiddin

13 years of winning versus NF

I was having double vision. Went to neurologist and neuro-ophthalmologist. EMG (electromyogram) test said something is wrong with my nerves. What is it? Undefined. Then MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) of the brain it is! There were 3 big white spots on my MRI plates. Brain tumors. I have brain tumors. I didn’t feel sad, or maybe a bit sad at first; though I really can’t remember feeling sad that time. In fact, when I got home, I was running around our compound raising and telling everyone that I have brain tumors like I was on a show and tell. I was definitely happy about it, buy why should I feel sad when I don’t feel sad. In fact, I was amazed because not everyone has brain tumors. Maybe I’m really weird. Haha. And now I know the answer: FAITH. I from from the start that everything has a reason, I didn’t know what that reason is, I have no idea what is it, but I know that there is.¬

After 2 or 3 visits to the neurosurgeon’s clinic, I was diagnosed with NEUROFIBROMATOSIS TYPE 2 (NF2) on October 15, 2004.

All along, I thought it was August 2004 but then again I saw that my first MRI was done was on September 29, 2004 (link the fb album) and I was able to figure it out, thanks to my blog, an online journal & my memory.

I was diagnosed a day before our simple DBS Batch 2000 get-together at Dencio’s Grill in Megamall. I can recall telling them that I have neuro something something – a long & tongue twisting word “basta may brain tumors ako” – I can recall cheerfully saying those words. Haha.

That was also the day (err, night) that we (Lea, Pau & I) became friends with Madie again. That was one of my significant “everything has a reason” in life.

Madie organized and gathered some of our batch mates and found a way to raised funds for me at Don Bosco Technical College Alumni Homecoming & Jig concert in 2005 in Jig 2006 as well and so on.

Later on, we found out that I have the type 1 (NF1) as well and all my diagnosis (or misdiagnosis) in the past were ann symptoms of NF1.

“You don’t look sick.”
“Maybe you are sad about it and you are just hiding it.”
“You must be in a lot of pain.”
“Are you really alright?”
“Are you sure you are not scared?”

My family & friends keep telling me those words especially whenever I say: “I AM OK”

I keep telling them that I am fine, being sick and having brain tumors really doesn’t make me feel sad, I am not scared (not a bit), etc.

No, I don’t really find it irritating because I understand the reason they are saying those words. Those are their TLC (tender loving care).

I wrote this on October 17, 2004:

“She (Tita Angie) asked me what I really feel daw. I told her, "tanggap ko" (“I accept it”). I’m not trying to hide my feelings. Whatever I'm showing, ‘yun na ‘yon (that’s it). Why should I cry? Why should I get lonely? Ano magagawa non dba?! (What can it do, right?!) I shouldn't stop living life the way i want it to be just because I’m sick. Lalo lang ako magkakasakit (The more will I get sick) like depression or something.

There’s a reason behind all these. I know there is. O diba?! (Right?!) Is this really me?! I'm not just showing you that I'm a strong person even though I’m really scared. I need to be strong, but I’m not really that scared. Ganito lang talaga ako. (This is really how I am) Even in the hardest situations, I still try to look on the positive side of things. Even if it's isn't visible, I will really find it. 

Hindi ako nagpapaka-manhid (I’m not being numb). This is how I am. This is how I take it. Smile nalang (just smile). I don't really want people's pity, though I’m really touched whenever someone comforts me or lets me feel their concern. As in! Promise. But you don't really have to think about it a lot of times and be bothered by it. Sige na nga, alam ko na hindi niyo naman mapipigilan mag-worry kaya (Okay, I know that you can’t really stop being worried, so) THANK YOU.”

 And then on November 19, 2004

“My mom and I went to PGH this morning to meet with the chairman of neurosciences, Dr. Willy Lopez, for a second opinion. Well, I really need to undergo surgery. Maybe in 2 weeks.. 3 weeks.. I’m not sure but I think it's gonna be within this year which is in less than 2 months.. Hay-ay-ay! Hehe!”

At one look on my MRI plates (When we barged his office. Haha.), he knew that it was NF2 at once.

We visited Dr. Lopez’ clinic the following week and then he became my doctor and took care of me since then.

Ever since then, a lot of thing had happened. Good things. Bad thing. Problems. Pain. Struggles. Triumphs. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Like you and most people, I also felt like I was pushed flat on the ground, everything's seems wrong and I can't do anything about it, but I chose to stand up and move, Little by little, with all of my might, no matter how little it is. I’ve fought, I’m still fighting and I’ll always be fighting through life.

While tapping my head, my mom said, “You are so blessed!”

And because I keep moving and fighting, the blessings that I’ve been receiving are my reward. So, the bigger the battle that we’ll conquer, the bigger the reward.

And I am very grateful because God put me in this kind of battle; a battle that HE is a part of.

Cheers to 13 years of living an AWESOME LIFE despite of battling with NF!

Those are tumors. Blue and green are the colors of NF. 13 years. And 13 is also my favorite number.

Suddenly, the tumor on my left leg became smaller & smaller

Wednesday night, when I was exercising with Michelle, I told her that I’m puzzled and a bit confused because the tumor on my left leg seems like it got smaller again but I’m really not sure.

GOD surprised me today!

A very very very AMAZING thing happened tonight!!!!!!

After my kicking exercise, instead of putting down my left leg, I placed my left foot above my right knee; dume-kwatro & when I touched the lower part of my left leg, I WAS SO SURPRISED! I kept saying: “Parang lumiit?!” I was talking about the tumor. It became smaller! It’s still there, but smaller. The best part is, it doesn’t hurt anymore.

A M A Z I N G

And I know and I’m sure that this is all God’s doing.

Why?

During my checkup last May or June (I’m too lazy to check), I told Dr. Lopez about the tumor on my leg that’s getting bigger & painful. He touched it & it was a bit painful and said that it’ll that it’ll be hard to remove it.

A certain brain tumor become aggressive it’ll make my left leg weaker and I was kinda worried that this leg tumor might become bigger and much painful. I was so worried about it but I didn’t tell anyone but God. I didn’t really prayed and asked Him to remove it, make it calmer or make it smaller. I just told Him about it just like how I usually have a conversation with my friends; that’s how I really talk with Him ever since whenever.

I didn’t pray for it but HE GAVE IT TO ME!

Like always, therefore I conclude:
GOD IS IN CONTROL

“Lord God let me share to the world how great YOU are & make this surgery a success!”

That’s what I thought before dozing off in the operating room. And after a minute (feeling like a minute had just passed but the operation was actually 5 hours long), I was already up because I wanted to eat omelet.  Then I saw Dr. Geraldine Jose, my anesthesiologist, smiling at me while I was being reclined on the bed and surrounded by all my doctors. The surgery was already over? I had to give a thumbs up because I felt OKAY; Since I can’t speak yet, I kept raising it.. I’m OKAY. I’m OKAY. I’m OKAY!!!!!!! The surgery was a success! Thank you Lord!!!!!

I can see how happy Dr. Willy Lopez, my neurosurgeon, and the whole medical team were while they all look at me with big smiles..  I too was very happy, although I move in limitation, I felt wide awake. Right away, I was a completely conscious.  It was so amazing!!! I was not feeling any pain or discomfort and it seemed like nothing happened, like I just slept for a minute. Very very very AMAZING!

And then I saw the exit sign when I was about to be wheeled out of the operating room and it was very very clear! Then I was brought to the ICU and I saw my mom, dad and  tita angie. (I can’t be able to talk yet so I wrote on the whiteboard and kept raising my thumb up. AMAZING!!!!!! I was very much OKAY! Amazing!

January 2016, I already felt like something was about to change in my life, something is not right with me. Changge is about to happen and it’s not a good kind of change. I don’t know. I wasn’t sure. I prayed. I told God about it. Don’t make me feel hopeless. Don’t make me feel like giving up. God assured me that He will take full control of me.

I am letting God take full control of me now. I’m not doing anything, HE is doing everything. God has been doing great things to me. Amazing!

I was feeling like I was getting worse and worse; my vision, mobility, swallowing eic. I was getting weaker.  And now I AM FEELING BETTER AND BETTER EVERYDAY! Amazing!!!!!!

When God assured me that He taking over my life, I believe Him completely. I gave Him my 100% trust. I mean I’m relying on Him 101%!

Actually, this has also been a wake-up call for me. I keep on praying the serenity prayer everyday as I start my day..

God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can’t and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.

I finally received the wisdom now. To know the difference between the things that I can accept and the things I can change in me.  I will get better. I will improve. God told me. I’m very much determined. I will improve. I decided to focus on myself this year and set aside the things I want to do. I will get better so that I can do more.  I will get better so that God can use me more!

Please don’t idolized me, I am not the one who is doing all these amazing things, believe me God is really taking over my life now. I am not in control, I am God’s instrument. I am letting Him use me.

Beside my BIG BIG BIG FAITH in God & in myself, I am also putting my faith is you! That you will help and support me as well. I can’t do this alone. You will help me, right?

In 2 months, (or less) when I have fully regained my strength back, I’ll be having another surgery to remove another tumor in my brain that’s causing pressure and we need to raise at least 700 thousand pesos for that.

How can you help:

1. My book KCAT CAN is very much available for 450 pesos plus shipping fee of 60 pesos for Metro Manila & 100 for provincial. Please message my mom, Madge Yarza on Facebook or send a textx message at 09272459400 with these details:
Name:
Mobile Number:
How many book/s?
Shipping address:

You can send the payment by depositing it either at BDO or BPI.

BDO
Account Name: MARIA KATHRINA L. YARZA
Savings Acct Number: 00 02 809 824 88

BPI Express
Savings Account # 1899 394 7 51
Name: Maria Kathrina L. Yarza

PAYPAL:
kcatyarza@yahoo.com

2. You can donate through:

- BDO
Account Name: MARIA KATHRINA L. YARZA
Savings Acct Number: 00 02 809 824 88

- BPI Express
Savings Account # 1899 394 7 51
Name: Maria Kathrina L. Yarza

- Western Union, Cebuana Lhuillier, LBC, Palawan, M Lhuillier, and other money transfer services.
- Here are the details:
    Recipient: Madeliene Lopez Yarza
    Mobile Number: 09272459400
    Address: 451-M M. Vasquez Street, Barangay Harapin Ang Bukas,                                      Mandaluyong City 1500 Philippines.

3. You can also go to my GO FUND ME page made by Tita Annie Campbell at : https://www.gofundme.com/vyxjfnd8

4. You can send your donation via PayPal at kcatyarza@yahoo.com

5. PRAY WITH ME

6. Please share my ongoing story to everyone you know.


THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

God is really taking over my life right now. I am not doing anything, God is doing amazing things in my life right now. Amazing! Amazing! Amazing! I am alive and I am strong because I have a very strong God! An amazingly strong God is working miracles on me every second and I can really feel it!

I also posted this on Facebook.