Monday, October 11, 2010

KCAT CAN: My Strange Eyes

My mom was so anxious when I told her that my right eye's vision worsen, so she immediately scheduled a check-up with my eye doctor.. She can't get over her worry even after the check-up since my right eye won't go back to it's normal state anymore and I need to undergo eye surgery soon to prevent my left eye from damaging it with too much exposure since my eyelids are weak and won't blink properly.. My right eye will be stitch in half too so that it won't continuously swallow out..

It's just a minor surgery and it's for the best.. What really matters is that I could see. Period. My vision's kinda blurry, but thanks to my glasses, I'm seeing well.. :)

So I decided to write about it.. :)

Still OKAY inspite & despite.. 
with my eye specialist, Dr. Rey Santos back in 2008.. I was still weak then and my face was huge due to my steroids intake (for my brain tumors)

by Maria Kathrina Lopez Yarza
October 11, 2010

MANILA, Philippines – A few nights ago, I asked my Mom, “Ma, madumi ba right eye ko?” She said, “No.” Besides, she just finished cleaning my right eye with the eye gel solution that my ophthalmologist prescribed for my eye maintenance.

Whenever I have nothing to do, I like experimenting on what I can and cannot do to check the progress of my health. I try moving my toes, my arm and my hand. I also talk to myself and say a few words to check on my hearing; and as for my vision, I always check each eye by closing one eye while letting the opposite eye see. A few nights ago, I did it with my right eye. I was surprised because I did not know what I was seeing — I was not seeing anything. I just saw a very blurry light.

Years back when I did not have any idea at all that I had NF2 despite the manifestation of several abnormalities in my physical being, I never got depressed or sad about it; instead, I found it amusing and included them in my joking antics. My left hand is dislocated from my arm; but I still find it amusing and did some acrobatic stunts with it to entertain my classmates and friends.

My left leg is one centimeter longer than my right leg; but my right leg is one inch thicker than the left; hence, I don’t walk in a straight manner. I call my walking style “5’2-5’4” because my height is 5’2” on the right and 5’4” on the left, although in actuality, I stand 5’5” tall.

I have strange eyes too. The right eye is bigger than the left eye; and when I look up, the cornea of my right eye raises higher than the left eye, although my vision was still normal then.

I always say that I am ‘kirat’. The jolly person that I am, I just concocted some humor out of my disabilities that made my friends giggle and laugh with delight. My eyes also produce excessive tears, and not escaping from the humor of it, I would play a crying act in front of my gullible friends. I found out after that the cause for the overflowing tears was that my eyes are dry. I found it odd that excessively dry eyes would result to an overflow of tears…strangely not normal.

While asleep in my hospital bed in 2005, I unconsciously scratched my right eye with the wooden pad on my dextrose; and since the right side of my face was completely numb, I did not feel; but it scarred my right cornea.

The vision in my right eye became blurred. It worsened as days and months went by, until all that my right eye could see was just a silhouette image of people, things and places.

My left eye started having vision problems too. With the problem of dry eyes, my eyes do not completely close due to weak eyelids. Can anyone imagine me sleeping with eyes half open? But yes, I do! My eyelids need to be held together with a surgical tape every time I sleep at night to prevent them from too much exposure.

My Mom got so worried when I told her that my vision worsened. To lighten the situation, I tell everyone that my almost blind right eye is now almost, almost blind; nevertheless, it is not yet a major, major case since I can still see something. It sounds funny, but on a serious note, what is important is that I can still see, albeit miniscule the sight.

In order to save my eyes from too much exposure and the process of swallowing (the bone behind my right eye is pushing my eye out), my doctor advised me to undergo partial tarsorrhaphy on both eyes. It is a rare procedure in which the eyelids are partially sewn together to narrow the eye opening. When we got home, I told everyone about it and cracked a joke that I’ll be a ‘chinita’ soon, owing to the fact that I am very fond of watching Taiwanese and Korean dramas. Ha ha.

During the check-up with my eye specialist, Dr. Reynaldo Santos, he told my Mom that after my first check-up, he has started praying for me and has been reciting a prayer each time I come to him for check-up. I feel a sense of relief and comfort in prayers.

“And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” [James 5: 15 - 16]

I am very grateful that God has blessed me with a number of great doctors — ophthalmologists, neurosurgeons, otolarynologists, ear doctors and pulmonary doctors — as His instruments to heal me. With these hands of healing and with all the prayers that I believe work wonders, plus my continuing positive attitude in life, and strong, unshakable faith in the ever-merciful, all-powerful God that watches over me, I believe and I trust that I will indeed be healed!

It is inevitable that I am going to be a ‘chinita’ soon. Nothing is permanent in this world except change. I, Kcat will welcome the change.

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