The Gift

I have a private blog for 5 years now.. I just feel like writing for myself, to myself.. No need to contain others in my dramas.. Haha. Not that I'm being an introvert, but it's better that way.. It's helping me.. a lot! I blog in there whenever I feel like it.. Eh I felt like blogging there and tweaking it this morning.. Then as usual, I re-read some of my old post.. Then I found out when I think I became strong - emotionally and spiritually.. Some things are just better kept private.. Besides, I'm only human, I have flaws too.. Haha.

1/18/05 - 1:58 AM

im scheduled for surgery on wednesday (january 19) already.. that soon huh?! scary?!
im not sure.. actually, i still feel normal.. like it's just gonna be another day tomorrow.. or another minor operation.. i was in deep thinking the other night.. but not that deep.. haha! i was just thinking, how i felt when i had my first operation.. my cyst removal on my left arm and on the back.. i was in grade 6 then.. i wasn't that scared though two cyst were removed.. imagine this: my left arm is being stitched while the cyst at my back is being cut.. o dba?! san ka pa?! i was awake then though i can't feel a thing because of the anaesthesia.. but that's nothing.. hehe! N.R. (no reaction) i've been in and out of the operating room.. yabang! haha! cysts operations.. in my left arm.. my back.. my forehead.. my left ring finger.. actually, i got lots of it paand counting.. haha! newei, it was only last year when we learned that these so-called cysts are not normal cyst at all like what we used to know.. these are neurofibromas.. tumours of the nerve.. it grows like mushrooms.. anywhere.. everywhere.. wherever.. whenever.. so.. yun.. it's benign though.. so if the lump isn't doing any harm, it's better to just ignore it nalang.. eh the tumors that's in my brain needs to be extracted coz obviously, it's so harmful and so trgerring.. anyway, this is it.. i'm gonna be in the hospital tomorrow.. and the day after that will be my operation.. haha! i know naman from the start that there's a reason behind everything.. even this.. dba?! God Bless as people say.. but i know God Blesses us more than we know.. right?!

newei, i was chatting with a friend a week ago i think.. he asked me what was the greatest gift i received last christmas.. ya, he's question was weird but that made me think.. ano nga kaya.. and it popped into my mind.. STRENGTH! ;)

And there you have it.. Strength was my gift from God in Xmas '04.. Good girl eh.. ;P