I was sad today. Past tense.

I suddenly felt sad. So sad.

I remembered my dream last night / this morning. There will be a gift-giving event like MAY Birthday Project that’s going to happen on January and I was very happy and so excited. No, I wasn’t the one who organized it but I was really really excited to join. And then I woke up.

While I was taking a shower a while ago, I suddenly thought of that dream and then I felt really really sad. I was crying without tears but it’s a bit dramatic coz the water from the shower was pouring (Now I am laughing when I think about it. Haha.)

Why am (was) I sad?

Because ever since MAY Birthday Project (MBP) ended 2 years ago, I don’t hear (not literally) or read much about gift-giving events like that anymore (except for The Gift of Hearing of Ma’am Iche, Mommy G’s advocacy projects & Ate Cres’ upcoming event for PWD kids).

When there was MBP for 9 years, It seems like there were lots of gift-giving events like that here and there, and then WALA NA. I’m not talking about those that were organized by a certain group, organizations or companies, but ordinary citizens like you and me.

“In those 9 years, I have proven that we don’t have to be a celebrity, politician or someone who’s rich and has a lot of money in order to do something like that. From something that was so small, together with my close friends & family, I was able to start it. I did it, I continue doing it and surprisingly, it became bigger and better year after year, from 2007 to 2015.”

We really had to to end it after the 9th MBP and I seems to me that the joy of caring & sharing that MBP also ended with it and I am very disappointed.

I know it’s not my fault for ending it but I can’t help but feel so bad.

Para kasing ako lang ang natuwa sa tuwa ng mga nabigyan namin kahit alam ko na hindi naman ganon. Ganyan lang talaga ako mag-drama. :P

It’s just so sad and I comforted myself with 9 years worth of happy faces from all the MBP and prevent myself from crying & hyperventilating.

I don’t really know why I’ve suddenly thought about this. Maybe because it’s the December 1 today.

And BTW, I’m not so sad anymore.
  Advance Merry Christmas, everyone!